Couple Problem Management

"There is a million reasons to break up, but only one reason is stay together: LOVE."

It has been years since I said that to my wife, who was my girlfriend then, during a rough patch. All that talk about person A has reminded me about it. How true it is. During an arguement, we are always looking at the problem, but not looking at the big picture that we have loved each other. In a christian dating book, it describe the relationship between GOD, man and wife as a triangle. If man can seek GOD and move towards GOD and wife does the same, then the distance between man and wife will be closer. Few things I learned from another book called, " Power of a praying husband" is dun try to tolerated each other, sometimes we have to say it out early to avoid the heated situation, where "I cannot stand it anymore". Does that sound familar? Another thing is instead of keep saying "I cannot stand this about you or I cannot stand that about you or Why can't you ______?", PRAY and ask GOD to change me first to overlook this, then change the other party. Always speak in love to each other, never in anger. If angry, go to the secret place (meaning your prayer room, not shopping centre) to pray and ask GOD to take away the anger first, change me, then change him. Only talk to my wife when the peace of GOD is with me.

Recently, a friend mentioned that love is an emotion thing. My point of view? Love is not an emotion thing, why?

God said:"If you love me, you will keep my commendments." meaning work or action must be taken when we love God. Another way of looking at it is because of love, we act inline with our love.

Another common used verse below shows God acting out of His love.

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only Begotten Son....." God's love has caused Him to give His Son to pay for own sins with His blood.

It is like the faith and works issue that many Christians have argued over.(whether we are saved by faith or works.)

Those who say we are saved by faith, will quote:

27Then what becomes of [our] pride and [our] boasting? It is excluded (banished, ruled out entirely). On what principle? [On the principle] of doing good deeds? No, but on the principle of faith.
28For we hold that a man is justified and made upright by faith independent of and distinctly apart from good deeds (works of the Law). [The observance of the Law has nothing to do with justification.]

Romans 3:27-29 (Amplified Bible)

5But to one who, not working [by the Law], trusts (believes fully) in Him Who justifies the ungodly, his faith is credited to him as righteousness (the standing acceptable to God).

Romans 4:5 (Amplified Bible)

There are other verses too. :)

The other party saying saved by works say:

15If a brother or sister is poorly clad and lacks food for each day,

16And one of you says to him, Good-bye! Keep [yourself] warm and well fed, without giving him the necessities for the body, what good does that do?

17So also faith, if it does not have works (deeds and actions of obedience to back it up), by itself is destitute of power (inoperative, dead).

James 2:15-17 (Amplified Bible)

18But someone will say [to you then], You [say you] have faith, and I have [good] works. Now you show me your [alleged] faith apart from any [good] works [if you can], and I by [good] works [of obedience] will show you my faith.

James 2:18 (Amplified Bible)

My conclusion? both faith and works.

24You see that a man is justified (pronounced righteous before God) through what he does and not alone through faith [through works of obedience as well as by what he believes].

James 2:24 (Amplified Bible)

These two verses will tell us that by faith, we are justified, and because of my faith in GOD, I do good work so that others can see my faith, be blessed and believe that my GOD is good and can change me to be a better person.

Christianity is not a religion, but a life changing experience, a relation with GOD, Abba Father, a soldier for Christ and a humble servant. Have a blessed day.